Resolving conflicts is topic of skits at James Madison " 'I' Messages" to show students if it's a tattle, or if they should tell BY TOM CAIAZZA Staff Writer EDISON - Taking responsibility for one's actions is often one of the most difficult things an adult must do. But students at the James Madison Primary School are learning at a young age what it means to take responsibility for oneself. Teachers at the K-2 school are teaching " 'I' Messages," or ways for children to diffuse difficult situations without the need of teacher intervention. These " 'I' Messages," which include an easily memorized statement and a focus on personal responsibility, are a schoolwide program to teach children how to handle conflicts between themselves using words and understanding as opposed to fists and violence. "We promote 'I' Messages' to fix problems on their own," said teacher Christine Brower, part of the driving force behind a series of skits meant to demonstrate the core curriculum of the message. "We tell them what we don't want to see." Darlene Cirillo, another teacher at the primary school, said that working in conjunction with all the other teachers in the building as well as the principal and guidance counselor, the students will learn the social interaction skills necessary for their development. "We want them to be independent," Cirillo said, "to solve their own problems." One of the most important things that Brower said children will learn from these presentations is to know when it would be considered tattling, and when they should tell. She said to children as young as this, it is difficult for them to inherently understand when a situation does not require teacher attention, and when the situation could be dangerous or harmful and requires an intervention from an adult. In its second year, the " 'I' Messages" program seems to be having an effect on the young students, and both Brower and Principal Gina Foxx have said that they see a marked improvement in conflict resolution and more efficient use of a teacher's instruction time. "The main difference is, we all have this common language," Foxx said. "If you have all these little pockets and we're not all saying the same words, then when you see a behavior that you want to eliminate, now we're all speaking the same language. The language is embedded in the building now." Foxx said that it would not be impossible for a teacher to spend 50 percent of their time mediating small conflicts that could be diffused by the students through the " 'I' Message" approach. The program expands the ability of the teacher to efficiently teach. "By giving the kids the power and the ownership, it definitely gives the teacher more of that time she needs to provide instruction," Foxx said, "and teaches the student to become more independent." The program is part of a larger core curriculum that includes what is known as character pillars. Through these character pillars and the teaching tools that come with them, students are being taught how to respect themselves and one another and are being exposed to the social skills they need to progress. "These are the key things children of this age need to focus on," Foxx said. "We don't have instances of bullying. Our goal is by putting this into place now, we are going to diffuse the bullying [later]. What is perceived as bullying at this level is really just a child trying to make a friend."